Voles
Last weekend I managed to ruin my very nice and very expensive pair of suede Campers.
I absolutely hate cleaning shoes. I guess this goes back to the Sunday evening ritual my parents enforced; whereby we had to ensure that all our school kit was clean and ready for Monday morning. Deep joy.
Anyway - suffice to say that all week I've been wearing substitute shoes that should have been donated to charity during the great shoe famine of 1912. Alternatively, they'd have made a very nice home for a family of disenfranchised voles, or something.
Now my right little toe is forcing me to adopt the gait of a 90 year old Sherpa, and something of the grimace frequently worn by those brave (but foolish) heroes seen in Sunday supplement pictures.
I'm expecting Chris Bonnington to make me an offer I can't refuse.

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