This is what I want
What a crap day.
I guess crap is pretty descriptive of how things seem to be going generally.
Separated. Spending much of my time alone.
Meeting with S tomorrow for a dinner and to talk. I love S very much - but I can't and won't go back to how things were. Comfortable. Cosy. Unadventurous. Feeling the insidious creep of petty resentments, and unforgotten disagreements. I know people say " but that's what happens in long term relationships" . It doesn't have to be that way.
I want to feel alive, spontaneous, passionate. I want to feel butterflies in my stomach. I want to lay in bed exhausted, happy, and spent. I want to feel like someone's man, not just a companion. I want to feel sexy, needed, urgent.
I want to feel excitement. I want to feel good in my skin, I want self respect. I want mutual regard, and to feel like we stand together. I want honest to goodness grown-up LOVE.
I want, I want, I want.
8 Comments:
How was the dinner? I hope it was better than anticipated. xoxo JB
SO find it then!
You have every right to feel those things. We all have.
I hope you find what you are looking for...Am sure she's out there some where!
go forth and date... the perfect mate is out there somewhere!
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