!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Apodal: This is what I want

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

This is what I want

What a crap day.

I guess crap is pretty descriptive of how things seem to be going generally.

Separated. Spending much of my time alone.

Meeting with S tomorrow for a dinner and to talk. I love S very much - but I can't and won't go back to how things were. Comfortable. Cosy. Unadventurous. Feeling the insidious creep of petty resentments, and unforgotten disagreements. I know people say " but that's what happens in long term relationships" . It doesn't have to be that way.

I want to feel alive, spontaneous, passionate. I want to feel butterflies in my stomach. I want to lay in bed exhausted, happy, and spent. I want to feel like someone's man, not just a companion. I want to feel sexy, needed, urgent.

I want to feel excitement. I want to feel good in my skin, I want self respect. I want mutual regard, and to feel like we stand together. I want honest to goodness grown-up LOVE.

I want, I want, I want.




8 Comments:

At 6:19 PM, Blogger Jones's Bitch said...

How was the dinner? I hope it was better than anticipated. xoxo JB

 
At 4:40 PM, Blogger Lou Lou said...

SO find it then!

 
At 4:14 PM, Blogger Pob said...

You have every right to feel those things. We all have.

 
At 2:51 PM, Blogger Manjusha said...

I hope you find what you are looking for...Am sure she's out there some where!

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger lou said...

go forth and date... the perfect mate is out there somewhere!

 
At 12:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great work!
[url=http://asyyygzs.com/ubrb/sotx.html]My homepage[/url] | [url=http://zfdbogwb.com/fszd/qprl.html]Cool site[/url]

 
At 12:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well done!
My homepage | Please visit

 
At 12:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well done!
http://asyyygzs.com/ubrb/sotx.html | http://trutfwqg.com/lcks/akdb.html

 

Post a Comment

<< Home