Apodal

Long time no speak

2005-02-25T08:32:00.000Z

The last time I posted here was in July 2004.

A lot has changeed since then. I'm glad it's been for the better.

This is what I want

2004-07-27T18:26:00.000+01:00

What a crap day.

I guess crap is pretty descriptive of how things seem to be going generally.

Separated. Spending much of my time alone.

Meeting with S tomorrow for a dinner and to talk. I love S very much - but I can't and won't go back to how things were. Comfortable. Cosy. Unadventurous. Feeling the insidious creep of petty resentments, and unforgotten disagreements. I know people say " but that's what happens in long term relationships" . It doesn't have to be that way.

I want to feel alive, spontaneous, passionate. I want to feel butterflies in my stomach. I want to lay in bed exhausted, happy, and spent. I want to feel like someone's man, not just a companion. I want to feel sexy, needed, urgent.

I want to feel excitement. I want to feel good in my skin, I want self respect. I want mutual regard, and to feel like we stand together. I want honest to goodness grown-up LOVE.

I want, I want, I want.

A better blogger

2004-07-20T10:04:00.000+01:00

Wysiwyg on blogger...

......now that's better.

Mmselle Jones Breaks Down

2004-07-14T14:02:00.000+01:00

Thinking of a touring holiday this year?

Ms Jones has a cautionary tale.

Bloody funny though.

Butler Report

2004-07-14T13:31:00.000+01:00

Erm....now let's see...

The dog ate my homework.

I had a headache.

It rained on my books.

I hurt my knee.

It's all down to faulty intelligence.
(.pdf doc)

Ad infinitum

2004-07-08T14:10:00.000+01:00

You are currently held in a queue. Your call is important to us; please hold and you will be connected to one of our advisors as soon as one becomes available....You are currently held in a queue. Your call is important to us; please hold and you will be connected to one of our advisors as soon as one becomes available....You are currently held in a queue. Your call is important to us; please hold and you will be connected to one of our advisors as soon as one becomes available....You are currently held in a queue. Your call is important to us; please hold and you will be connected to one of our advisors as soon as one becomes available....You are currently held in a queue. Your call is important to us; please hold and you will be connected to one of our advisors as soon as one becomes available....You are currently held in a queue. Your call is important to us; please hold and you will be connected to one of our advisors as soon as one becomes available....You are currently held in a queue. Your call is important to us; please hold and you will be connected to one of our advisors as soon as one becomes available....You are currently held in a queue. Your call is important to us; please hold and you will be connected to one of our advisors as soon as one becomes available....You are currently held in a queue. Your call is important to us; please hold and you will be connected to one of our advisors as soon as one becomes available....You are currently held in a queue. Your call is important to us; please hold and you will be connected to one of our advisors as soon as one becomes available.................

*sound of bullet ricocheting off hand-set*

Blogging hell

2004-07-07T11:42:00.000+01:00

Over the last few days, I've been witness to some pretty pointless baiting and bitching here in the blogosphere.

To be exact; a minority of people have been hijacking the comment box of the rather splendid RW4 in order to carry out personal squabbles. (the most dignified word I can find).

If you have something to bitch about - get a blog of your own.

If you need to have a personal go at someone, there are many IM tools out there

Glossary expressly provided for those without blogs who insist on using comment boxes to insult and annoy others:

Blog: A frequent, chronological publication of personal thoughts and Web links.

IM or Instant Messaging: Instant messaging (IM) is an Internet protocol (IP)–based application that provides convenient communication between people using a variety of different device types. The most familiar today is computer-to-computer instant text messaging, but IM also can work with mobile devices, such as digital cellular phones, and can incorporate voice or video.

Capice?

Testing...testing

2004-07-07T09:10:00.000+01:00

Currently testing Mozilla Firefox 0.9.1

It's looking good so far; easy to install (4mb), and much less clunky than IE.

More later...if you can stand the anticipation....

Name checking

2004-07-06T16:46:00.000+01:00

There is ONE rule when answering these questions:
1) Only ONE answer to each. Of course its tough - thats the point!
2) Only ONE blogger to be used in each answer

What blogger inspired you to FINALLY start a blog?
Goopy

What blog do you visit the most often everyday?
RW4

What blogger do you think you have the most in common with?
Pob

Which blog can you be sure will make you pee a little you laugh so hard?
The Manly Smell

Which blogger leaves you the best/funniest comments?
Lump

What blogger do you wish would update more often?
Em

Which blog do you wish more people would read?
Apodal

Which blog do you learn the most from?
Diamond Geezer (sheer number of facts and figures)

What blog is your newest addition?
10 Signs Like This

Who has been on your blogroll the longest?
Fluffy

Whose blogroll would you LOVE to find yourself on?
Anyone!

Whose blogroll were you the happiest to find yourself on?
The Manly Smell - on hiatus.

If you could write like any blogger, who would it be?
Briggy

What blogger are you the happiest you've "met?"
Mr Hans RW4 - (crafty answer)

Which blog do you recommend the most?
I recommend them all.

Who is the next person you'll add to your blogroll?
Watch this space.

Who is the blogger you hope to meet in "real" life?
Zoe - 'cos she's a bit scary and funny too.

Which blogger do you admire the most?
Admire 'em all. I know; what a cop-out.

Who would you trust with your blog while you were away?
Legomen is..as long as he avoided the "C" word ;-)

Which blog has your favorite design?
Tonya

How many blogs are on your blogroll(s)
64

Ok, so I cheated a couple of times. It's a fair cop; but society's to blame.

My schlong

2004-07-06T15:51:00.000+01:00

I've been bored today,as you can probably observe.

My penis's new name is Sir Lancelot the Strangely Proportioned Bratwurst.
Name Your Penis

Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Oooh!

2004-07-06T08:59:00.000+01:00

M, aged nine, describes some friends who'd stolen something from her room:

"Bloody shitty pieces of shitty-shit!!".

The eloquence of childhood...

Porn?

2004-07-05T19:34:00.000+01:00

Then look at this..

Home

2004-07-03T07:41:00.000+01:00

My home town is growing at an alarming rate.

This place was once a peaceful village; a mile and a quarter from Stonehenge, and just at the eastern end of the Woodford valley.

As children, we would dissappear into the fields for hours, exploring old buildings,especially the closed railway station, and sit at the end of Boscombe Down airforce runway,shrieking as giant transporter planes roared a hundred feet overhead. I remember spending hours watching Vulcan bombers fill the sky with noise and their giant foreboding shape. The walk home across the fields was beautiful at sunset; owls swooping silent and low over the corn, and deer dashing off as we rounded the edge of the field and made our way through the coppice on the brow of the hill.

The village would erupt into colour each spring; the woods and riverside absolutely teeming with wildlife.We would spend hours down there, hunting for crayfish and seeing who could spot the big Pike lurking under the bridge at Ham Hatches. It was said that a boy was once pulled under by this fearsome fish; which was "at least a hundred years old".

My grandfather, bless him, was in his 70's and still cycling around the village, tending gardens and stopping off at The Greyhound for his pint of ale on his way home. He'd meet his friends on Sunday mornings,and sit watching the world go by on the solitary bench by the the post office. They'd swap stories; some true, some like the story of a certain large fish.

I remember when the new 'A' road was carved through here. To me at nine years of age, the hulking Caterpillar diggers and loaders were awesome: bright yellow monsters hauling tons of Wiltshire chalk and clay out of the ground, and grumbling along the tracks with their massive wheels. One rainy afternoon,I had to be pulled from deep mud on the site, having tempted my friend J there to see the behemothic engines.

One of my favourite views in the world is the sight from the top of the Beacon Hill,as I look down and see the village surrounded by green fields and ancient woodland, burial mounds, and trackways used for thousands of years.

Now villagers,conservationists and heritage types are battling it out over the merits of routeing this road through a tunnel to protect the five thousand year old monument.Huge retail and trade parks are springing up and scarring the landscape. The village is now a bustling town; populated by forces families, business park workers and a small number of people who still work on the land and surrounding country estates.

The flea-pit has gone. Grandpa's bench is no longer.

"Progress", they say.

As for the Pike, he still lives on; being at least one hundred and thirty years of age by now. I still pass by the bridge; and peer amongs the reeds, hoping to catch a glimpse as he lurks there.

Old Punx Not Dead

2004-06-23T19:15:00.000+01:00

I read with a certain level of amused curiosity that Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols is now hosting an LA based radio show. Lets face it, he was never blessed with bucket loads of charm or even the bonus of a half-decent vocabulary.

Apparently the show is broadcasting an eclectic - if mental - mix of anything from The Wurzels through The Clash via Bowie to Franz Ferdinand, with a dab of Benny Hill thrown in....

You can hear the show - Jonesy's Jukebox - between 7-9pm British summertime - at http://indie1031.fm

"You dirty f**king rotter"

Written to me by my friend "R"

2004-06-21T16:08:00.000+01:00

"We were driving to the beach yesterday ( sunday ) , I had a terrible hangover, L was suffering a gall-bladder attack, I was pissed off because I had smashed the side of the car the day before, a road was cut off so we had to take the motorway past the airport, there was a huge traffic backlog towards the sea and I was gagging for a beer and some food. D was crying in the back seat and the world seemed a pretty horrible place.

It was then, just as I felt really sorry for myself, that an ambulance and two police motorbikes sped past and L and I looked at each other in a quite ashamed way as we had been griping and moaning about our bad day. By time we reached the site of the accident it became apparent that things were grim. Several motorbikes and a van were involved and i saw at least one person who hadn´t survived.

I cried quietly beneath my sunglasses as L distracted E to look through the other side window.

When I reached the sea and greeted my friends I spent a few minutes with my can of Amstel in hand remembering that age old wisdom - someone somewhere is always having a worse day than you.

Is that sad, or reassuring? I don´t know, I suppose it depends on the space you are in when you think about it. But it is , for sure, an eternal and universal truth."

Voles

2004-06-05T20:04:00.000+01:00

Last weekend I managed to ruin my very nice and very expensive pair of suede Campers.

I absolutely hate cleaning shoes. I guess this goes back to the Sunday evening ritual my parents enforced; whereby we had to ensure that all our school kit was clean and ready for Monday morning. Deep joy.

Anyway - suffice to say that all week I've been wearing substitute shoes that should have been donated to charity during the great shoe famine of 1912. Alternatively, they'd have made a very nice home for a family of disenfranchised voles, or something.

Now my right little toe is forcing me to adopt the gait of a 90 year old Sherpa, and something of the grimace frequently worn by those brave (but foolish) heroes seen in Sunday supplement pictures.

I'm expecting Chris Bonnington to make me an offer I can't refuse.

Quality Control

2004-06-03T17:53:00.000+01:00

As you may have noticed; my link-list is small and has been thus for a while now.

I'm taking my time in constructing the link-list for APODAL. Links to other blogs will only be added after the "Apodal Quality and Consistency Assurance Test" has been fully applied.

So there.

Hols

2004-06-02T18:17:00.000+01:00

Having a short break. Be back very soon. :-)

Lovely Little Creatures

2004-05-28T17:21:00.000+01:00

I'm listening to Talking Heads - Little Creatures. It must be many a moon since I heard this luscious slice of pop genius; written mostly by David Byrne. I believe the tape is still gathering dust at the bottom of my "old music" box. Shame.

Thanks to Napster I'll resurrect it, and place it in the car for many motorway sing-alongs this summer.

Creatures of Love

A woman made a man
A man he made a house
And when they lay together
Little creatures all come out

Well, I've seen sex and I think it's alright
It makes those little creatures come to life
I can laugh or I can turn away
Well, I've seen sex and I think it's okay

We are creatures, creatures of love
We are creatures, creatures of love
From the sleep of reason, a life is born
We are creatures, creatures of love

It's okay to be afraid
When the blue sparks hit your brain
We can love one another
I've been told that it's okay

Doctor, doctor, tell me what I am
Am I one of those human beings
Well I can laugh or I can learn to think
So help me now to find out what I feel

We are creatures, creatures of love
We are creatures, creatures of love
We've been here forever, before you were born
We are creatures of love, We are creatures of love

A man can drive his car
And a woman can be a boss
I'm a monkey and a flower
I'm everything at once

Well, a woman and a man can be together
If they decide to they'll make little creatures
Watch 'em now!
Little creature of love
With two arms and two legs
From a moment of passion
Now they cover the bed

We are creatures of love, we are creatures of love
We are creatures, creatures of love
We are creatures, creatures of love
From the sleep of reason, a life is born
We are creatures of love, we are creatures of love

To live and die in America

2004-05-25T20:30:00.000+01:00

Life in California was exciting. We had a small and happy group of friends. Pete and Alice in particular were an interesting couple; and we spent a lot of time with them.

Pete was a Vietnam veteran, and had a law firm. Rhona and I helped out here and there.The offices were situated just adjacent to the Transamerica building; and boasted English phone-boxes and Penny Farthings on the walls.Pete could often be seen roaring around the city on his vintage English motorcycle.

Alice was a writer, and knew all the city faces.She invited us to lots of parties at her glam apartment on Nob Hill.She'd written several articles and a book on the effects of advertising and celebrity culture on young women; and was in demand with the tv and radio companies.

Rhona and I would often spend the weekend away with them, cruising along the coast in Pete's boat. The California coast is quite stunning in places, and I still remember it and their company with clarity.

One weekend in May we had a phone call from Pete;incoherently trying to explain that someone had died. He was drunk, and it was 11 in the morning. We rushed round to his office, to find him asleep in a lounger on the sun-roof.We managed to drag him to the shower and drenched him in cool water.He began to rouse and very quickly was a sobbing, heaving mess.He told us in between huge intakes of breath that Alice was dead.She'd been found in her apartment.Alice had been brutally murdered.

In the following weeks,Pete withdrew from life. His business almost collapsed; and survived because friends and colleagues across the city helped out while he imploded. Pete became an "almost" person, secluded in his apartment over at Candlestick Park. His hair grew, he lost interest in his life-long pursuits.

Eventually a man was arrested.The court case followed.The man was bailed.3 weeks later the man was found shot dead at his front door.With no other evidence and no other suspect, the case was wound down.

Those of us who knew Alice began to grieve again; was there to be no justice for the snuffing out of such a gifted and special life?

Pete gradually began to venture out from his isolation.He sold his apartment and bought a house in Sausalito, by the bay.We were happy to be invited there for dinner; and sat late into the night reminiscing about Alice, and all that she'd meant to us.

At the end of the evening, we hugged and kissed as we said goodbye.I told Pete I was looking forward to roaring down Route 1 on the bikes with him again.He smiled and said faintly "I think i'll be giving up the bike soon..getting a tad old for that".

A few months went by.We saw Pete less and less; and he seemed to almost be avoiding our company.Friends told us that they too had seen little of him, and rarely had he returned calls.

The following Spring,I heard that Pete had sold the business and his house.He'd moved across the country to a village in New York State.We wrote and rang a few times, with no reply.We heard from a mutual acquaintance that Pete was now living alone in the sticks, growing his own food and living off savings.

In late September I received a call from the Sullivan County Police Department.Pete had walked into the department and confessed to the shooting of Alice's killer.

Pete had followed this coke-dealing murderer home one night; and shot him once in the head and once in the chest.

Now, Pete is in prison. He writes to me here in England, and says I must come out to New York when I can.I plan to be there when he's released.

Meanwhile, I'm searching New York State for vintage English motorcycles.

(Personal and place names have been changed)

This is part of a chain of posts linked together by word association. The previous link in the chain was here. If you want to write another link here's what to do: Find a word, phrase or theme from this post to inspire your own and go and write it. It's that simple. Try not to write something that's similar to this post. That way the subject of the posts along the chain will vary. E.g. if I write about going to the doctor's, then don't talk about the last time you were ill, instead describe how you used to play Doctors and Nurses with the girl next door. Get the idea? Your post can be in any style you want. Copy this paragraph and tack it onto the end of your post, updating the link to point here, then leave a comment here that points to your new post.

Writing anonymously

2004-05-25T11:13:00.000+01:00

I've been chatting to a friend of mine, who's written a novel. Only trouble is, she won't let anyone see it! Apparently she's worried about people saying it's trash.

What's the point of writing if no-one is going to see it. I say take the risk and use the feedback.

Now that's a good idea....

Irish Blood English Heart

2004-05-22T17:24:00.000+01:00

I became disenamoured with Morrisey during the time of his flag waving debacle.

I heard his latest track on Later last night. He seems to have had a return to form. I'm willing to give him another try, as long as he behaves himself and doesn't get into any dodgily ambiguous nationalist shennanigans!

"To be standing by the flag, not feeling shameful, racist or partial" indeed.

When it Falls

2004-05-22T16:41:00.000+01:00

By the way; the Zero 7 album is a corker.

Legal Napster

2004-05-22T16:14:00.000+01:00

The new UK legal version of Napster is released, and I'm listening to Zero 7 - When it Falls before I decide to buy.

Napster has a quietly impressive set of features. As above, for £9.95 a month you can listen to whole albums before you buy; or choose from some presets to have compilations played in "radio" mode.

Searching is easy, with fast results. Using the "just added" search feature brings you everything added to the Napster list in the last 3 months. The usual Genre/Album/Artist queries are also available.

The track player is pretty simple with the basic controls..and I'm sure they'll be adding a graphic equaliser in the near future. It comes with it's own burner which I've yet to try; I'll let you know when I have.

Go here for further details of pricing and features.

Responsible

2004-05-18T19:43:00.000+01:00

I did go to work.

I like my job, and I like the people I work with. There are a minimum number of jerks; and I guess the good thing is that they're outnumbered by the positive/proactive majority of people.

I used to work in a godawful place, where the over-riding culture was one of blame, and of ridicule for those of us who dared care about our work. I spent a good few years struggling to maintain my integrity, in the face of pessimism and downright mean spiritedness.

In this job I'm equally challenged and supported by my colleagues; who expect the same from me. We know when to laugh and when to be sincere, and it's no mean feat getting that right.

Today I spent much of my afternoon meeting with other agencies, attempting to put together a support package for a vulnerable person. It would be so easy for personalities to get in the way of making these sensitive and risky decisions.

I'm thankful for working in a healthy environment, and I'm glad I went to work today.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow

2004-05-16T21:26:00.000+01:00

I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrowI don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.I don't want to go to work tomorrow.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow.

Dear Mr Bling

2004-05-15T15:52:00.000+01:00

I understand you have a right to express yourself in the way you dress, the music you listen to, and in the humungous 4*4 you seem to feel is necessary in order to navigate the streets of south London.

What I do not understand is the decibel level pumped out by your boot-box every fucking Saturday morning parked outside my house!! Even worse is hearing your bloody voice as you attempt a conversation with your friends, shouting over the noise. I really don't want to hear how you "bum-fuck me bitch las' night" over Snoop Doggy urging you to "smack dem up", whoever "dem" may be.

Now fuck off.

Pixies rule ya know

2004-05-15T09:59:00.000+01:00

Listening to Frank Black in his earlier incarnation as head honcho of the splendid Pixies. I remember seeing them at Crystal Palace in the early 90's. It was quite possibly the best gig I've been to.

They've re-formed and are currently on tour, and I'm the lucky owner of a ticket for June 5th at Brixton Academy.

There is a god.

2004-05-15T09:19:00.000+01:00

Fiddling about with Blogger. Can anyone tell me how to add my blogroll?

I've started using Hello; pretty neat eh? Now all I need is a "friend" to try it out properly.

Three good things

2004-05-15T08:34:00.000+01:00

Three good things:

1. It's the weekend

2. We're off out tonight to eat and drink good food and wine.

3. erm...actually that's two good things

New anonymous beginnings

2004-05-15T07:13:00.000+01:00

Some of you will know me from elsewhere in the blogosphere. Some of you won't. I don't really care. This is my new space to write as I would wish to.

No constraints. Anonymity. That's what I want.